Dare I Even Say It?

The last month or two has been really pathetic for me. I mean REALLY pathetic as far as losing weight goes. Simply because over the last few weeks I haven't really tried...as a matter of fact I did the furthest thing from trying...I subconsciously said, "Fuck it."

This is the thing...during that time period I have had so much happening (some things you guys know about from my blog, some things you don't) and I've been stressed to my max. What do I do when I'm stressed? I eat. Specifically anything that's bad for me. Therefore...I have gained back 7 lbs. I'm so upset and ashamed with myself. But I'm not going to let this beat me. I've done a lot of thinking and I've decided to go at this full force. My birthday is only about 3 weeks away (July 17th) and I still intend to try to look my best. So don't lose faith in me...

yum yum

I am now making great salad at home. Here is my recipe (it may be simplistic but hey I am hardly a bonafide chef):

1 Rubbermaid plastic container large with lid (lid is important as you will find out soon)
Grilled chicken cut in pieces (you can get these readymade at the deli meats section)
Baby spinach
Caesar greens
Dried cranberries
Walnuts
Olive oil
White wine vinegar

Put desired quantities in the plastic container, put the lid on, and shake it like a Polaroid picture. It is imperative that you close the lid. Eat and feel good. Prep time 5 minutes.

I intend to try out variations of this, maybe include broccoli and other veggies, almonds, other berries. I don’t think though that making a decent salad at home necessarily costs less than getting one from outside.

P.S. close the lid before shaking.

Boom babba Boom babba Boom Babba

Alright, so the wedding has come and gone, i fit into the dress and all went well. I apparently decided to give myself an entire week of pigging out, i didn't plan it that way it just happened. I got on this insatiable kick with poutine and ate it 3 or 4 times this week. I went to the Mandarin for Father's day and i went out for fried appetizers last night. I of course gained 2 pounds this week. So now in order to count new lost weight i will have to lose 3 pounds before counting. I must say, my tummy has not felt the best all week, especially yesterday after all the fried food, so my body sure is saying something to me. I think i've fulfilled all of my cravings for quite some time now and can get back to eating properly. I've decided that following that nutrition plan just makes me starve and puts me over the edge and i give up on it very easily. So unless it's a quick few pounds i need to lose, i'm going to concentrate more now on just eating healthier, adding more salads and veggies, choosing good carbs, that type of thing.

As well, i am now housesitting for 2 weeks. They have a pool and i absolutely love nothing more than being in the water and swimming around, so i will definately be exercising that way. As well there is an elliptical right in the house and a trail along the water about a 5 min walk away. There are plenty of opportunites to get fit. I'm really looking forward to the next 2 weeks :)

Working out at work

So I have now decided to work out at the work gym. My company was voted as one of the top 100 places to work for and one of the reasons was a top class gym on site. There are obvious advantages: 1) I don’t have to worry about going to gym after work when I get home and 2) I can cancel my existing Y membership and save $50 a month. There are a number of drawbacks:

I am not bullish on taking a shower at work; people I work with walking around naked.
I have to make up for time I spend in the gym.
I have to carry a huge bag with change of clothes, towels, toiletries.
Having to stuff wet clothes and towels in a bag after working out.

Anyway, I have decided I will not make excuses and learn to cope with working out at work. I ran 30 minutes today and because there were people there that I know, I kept going for a bit longer than I could. After I showered and changed, I looked myself in the mirror and I looked hot. My hair was all messy and wet because I had forgotten to bring a comb with me. I really felt good and motivated. I can still do this.

Finally

I have lost a pound. I am a bit surprised as I havent been working out all that much. Used to be so motivated you know.

This better freakin' work

I've worked hard this week. And shelved a lot of my bad habits, and it's definitely been tough, but the toughest was tonight. The boyfriend has not been incredibly supportive of me losing weight. For example, he doesn't really complement me on looking better, when it's all some other people can talk about, and worst of all, he doesn't create a supportive environment for weightloss in our place. He had one brief flash of supportive behaviour for about 2 weeks when he decided to join us, and then he just went back to his old ways. I've asked him on several occasions not to order junk food to the house when I'm home. Now, I'm not asking him to never eat junk food, because there are a zillion restaurants in our neighbourhood he could go to, and I'm not asking him to never order in, because I'm easily out of the house half of the evenings of the week. So really, all I'm saying, is about half the time, if you want junk food, then please go out to get it and don't tell me about it.

Anyway, when I ask him not to order in any more, he says sure, knowing that when he suggests ordering take-out, I'll cave and order something too. In other cases, if he wants to order in, I'll go out to a friend's house and come home later when the coast is clear. Thus far, I've never told him he couldn't order in.

So tonight, he suggested ordering Chinese, I said no.

The friends I'd usually visit were busy tonight, it's Wednesday, and I'll be out tomorrow night and the next night at least if he wants to satisfy his urge to eat grease. Plus he agreed in principle to this just last week and we ate out for a friend's birthday last night.

Am I being reasonable? I've been watching that show 'Intervention' and I totally agree that the people who are trying to quit can't do it unless they are in an environment that's conducive to kicking their bad habits.
Whenever I'm having dinner at my mom's house now, she runs the menu by me beforehand so I can tell her if there's anything that shouldn't eat, so I don't have to use my weak weak willpower.

Anyway, when I asked him not to order in he got all pissy about it and now I'm wondering if I should have the right to ask him not to eat crap in my presence. If it was heroin, would everyone agree that he shouldn't do it around me?

Ugh...

This had better be worth it. I'll be pissed if I haven't lost new weight this week.

New Strategy

So, I was thinking back to what it was that caused my early success in this competition the other day. And I remember that I was actually only weighing myself once a week, so there was a surprise factor on Thursday morning. And the excitement or dissapointment that went along with the result. Lately, I've been weighing myself every morning and there's no surprise when it's not coming off. So, from now on, I'm putting my scale away until Thursdays.

Finally!!!

So the Wedding is in 9 days, and i've finally lost a freakin pound. I doubt it will count as weight lost though as i do believe way back when i had gained one or two. I can't even keep track anymore and i have no time to check the archives. Anywoo, i decided to go on my nutrition plan a few weeks before the wedding as i felt that was an achievable goal and apparently it has paid off. Of course i'm starving and rather tired, but whatever, 9 more days won't kill me. I've also actually gone to the gym a few times this week and plan to go this evening after i volunteer. Woo Hoo!!

Boooooo!!!

So i don't know about the rest of you, but obviously somewhere along the way i've become lost. I have not been to the gym in i don't even know how long, i've been completely slacking in the eating healthy area. I was at Jennifer's last weekend and ate this wonderful Indian food, drank like a fish and then the next evening at the wedding reception ate and drank like a fish again.

On a positive note, i bought a big tub of spring mix for salads so it's pretty much done for me. I just have to add the extras like green onions or cucumbers or whatever i want on my salad. As well, i've handed in my parking key at work. They were going to start charging an obscene amount because "costs have gone up" so i decided i could use the exercise and instead of parking at my building i will be parking a few blocks away for free.

This week i've stayed the same.